The Paradigm of American Christianity

     I have become increasingly aware of how little the Christians around me actually know anything about religion. Most of them can name a few other religious groups, such as Jews and Muslims, but how many know that 'Sikhism', 'Juche', and 'Baha'i' even exist? I know that I didn't! Lately I have been wanting to become more culturally aware, but what's sad is that I have not even completely read the religious text of my own faith, the Bible! I have likely read more of it than many Christians, but there are so many that have read the whole thing multiple times, and members of other religions seem to have their's memorized! Though this could just be a misconception of my ignorance. I have a new desire to understand what my religion is supposed to stand for and how/why it exists, but not only this I want to understand other religions and what connections they all have with each other. I would love to become aware of all the current world religions, but there are so many! So for now I am going to look at the big ones and work my way down to the more obscure. If anyone wants me to research a specific kind, feel free to comment and tell me. I will do my best to stay unbiased and restrain from inputting my own opinions. If no suggestions come, I will start with the most obvious, Christianity, though the number of sects will take some time to sort through. And so the journey begins! 

Random Thoughts of a Soul

     Has anyone else noticed that adults and life in general has been lying to us all our lives? Obviously not everything is a lie, but many things are. For instance, who decided that kids under their parents' care can't possibly feel things such as stress or love? I'm a kid still and I know what both of these sensations are. Sure, I don't know what it's like to have a love that results from marriage, but honestly how many married people do know what this is? Not all of them, that's for sure. But this is not the only kind of love! If you think that to love someone means to be in a romantic relationship, then you are missing out! I love my friends dearly, both guys and girls. To me, those relationships have been far more fruitful than all of my dating experiences put together. And sure, I don't know what it's like to be financially in charge of little people, but I do know how to take care of them and the pressure that comes from them looking up to you. I do this while trying to focus on preparing myself for my own some day, by getting a stable, decent paying career that I also love. That's pretty tricky.
     I think teenagers everywhere are underestimated. The average adult just assumes that since we do not have as many years of experience as they have, we just can't know anything about life. They tell us things like "high school and college will be the best times of our lives" and that "we have so much freedom" which of course we take for granted. What I want to tell these kinds of adults is "hey, you know nothing about me!" And it would be true, they don't know what it's like to be in AP or IB classes these days or how much pressure we have to go to college. My teachers now will admit that school is much harder than it used to be and many colleges are raising their standards. And they probably don't know what it's like to be like a mom to six younger siblings at the age of 18 because their parents are seperated. Of course I'm not saying anything bad about my parents, but it is inevitable that there is some slack to pick up from both of them when now they have their own households to run by themselves. Now this is just stuff about me, I can't even imagine what other teens are going through. I wish I could say that I knew more about other people, more of their struggles and desires. In the entire span of my life I have mostly worried about myself and my family, which isn't bad, and now I'm wishing that I could have gotten more involved with others. I plan on being more proactive in friendships from now on, but I may have realized I wanted this too late for high school. Which is definitely unfortunate.
     I hope this makes sense to anyone reading, and if someone feels similarly feel free to comment and share your thoughts. I'm off to try and collect my own thoughts and put them into some kind of action.

A Midsummer Night's Dream - Amazing!

I just want to get started by saying GOOD JOB FAIRMONT ACTORS!! I honestly can say that this year's winter play was the best school performance I've been to. The whole set up was brilliant and I loved the atmosphere. The modern twist made it so much more humorous, definitely worth getting NHS hours for! (I would have gone anyway though)

But now, I would like to individually congratulate the actors. Here we go!

Kevin Manley - I don't personally know you, but good job! You pulled off a very sophisticated Theseus.
Briahna Shifflett - You also did a great job! And I like your tattoo:)
Abby Lybrook - You were awesome, very good bit at the end before the Pyramus and Thisbe play!
                          (and thanks for the invitation to the wedding!)
Patrick Condron - Very nice job, liked the acting.
Caroline Grogan - Really enjoyed your character, good job on the dramatic parts.
Sean Cassidy - Your acting was good as well, enjoyed the funny scenes.
Jacob Nickel - Not going to lie, I did not expect you would be that good! You spoke very nicely and acted
                        well.
Ananda Harris - Good job girl! Your character was so funny, I loved it!
Melanie West - You know, it's funny because you sometimes act that silly in real life! Love you Mel!
Kevin O'Donnell - Awesome job Kevin, you were the perfect guy for the part!
Indigo Monbeck - Nice job, adding the skateboard was a good idea!
Matt Ebersbach - You were fantastic! I am so excited to see you perform in Miami shows!!
Katie Molnar - Nicely done, even with the IB load you managed your character well.
Kevin Heinkel - I have to say, your character was one of the funniest, even though you had hardly any lines!

And good job to the stage crew and everyone I missed! You guys made a Great show!

My Kind of Perfect - Inspired

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch9RBTb1oRo&feature=related


I advise you watch this video before reading what I have to say, the theme was inspired by it. A theme that is pretty common, and probably too clique for anyone to care. It's about love. Yep, probably lost any potential readers. But I'm not here to talk about how "I'm so lonely" and "why can't my knight-in-shining-armor arrive"? Nope. Instead, I would like to start off by discussing the word's tragic death. Love, what does it even mean? Well...


"An intense feeling of deep affection."
Sure.


Really?

"Feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone)."

"To get pleasure from."

Hmm...

Haha, sucks doesn't it? How are you supposed to know what someone means when they say "I love you"? Okay, that's great. Now does that you you want to marry me or am I just a hobby to you? Hopefully the latter isn't true, interests change.

But that is also clique, I could go on youtube right now and find something that talks about the over/misuse of the word 'love'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Iv62bxFTW0&feature=BFa&list=UU0jIctUPBK6lHw4AYnGHvCA&lf=plcp

Oh look, found one!

This has a religious twist to the issue, but the problem is real nonetheless.

This being said, I would like to get to the point, to the reason why I'm actually writing this. I would like to openly show my appreciation for people who aren't afraid to be real, in front of the world, where judgement could be passed on them. David, for instance, is willing to let his fans know that he hasn't dated anyone, which could be embarrassing to some, and that he's going to wait for "his kind of perfect." How adorable is that? Of course he could be lying to gain the respect of female minds like mine, but I find that possibility very unlikely.

I know of only a few people with this kind of confidence. It's hard to be that strong, I know that I'm not there yet, but I also know that it will be worth the struggle. Someday I hope to be there, unshakeable in my beliefs and standards. But even if I never do, I can at least be sure that I'm going to continuously get closer. Anyone want to join me? :)

Shut Up and Listen...I'm Right!

     My desire to use the title in my daily life has been continually increasing lately, I'm surprised I haven't already said it aloud by accident. It has definitely crossed my mind a few times, usually with a hint of extreme irritation. It's pretty sad though, especially since I can recognize my own fallacious thinking. I know that 'truths' cannot ever be concidered entirely true, since all of our ways of knowing have significant weaknesses. You'd think that given this I wouldn't believe so strongly that one idea has more truth than another, but my own prideful nature often overrides logic.
     Now this doesn't mean that I don't listen to opposing arguments and that I immediately reject ideas that conflict with my own. I have no problem ditching one theory for another, as long as I'm shown substantial proof. In fact, I would gladly take the side with more convincing evidence. But if I'm a part of an argument where only opinions and personal interpretations are used to prove a point, I'm sorry but I'm going to secretly think that everyone is hopelessly wrong. I don't always mean to do this, but it happens nonetheless.
     I prefer intellectual discussions where actual knowledge is used over pointless debates about who cares what.
     I know I seem pretty negative right now, which I am, so excuse me if offense is taken. But please, people, stop arguing about topics you know hardly anything about. Do a little research before you say you're right and I'm wrong. And for goodness sakes, don't make up facts like my brother does, it only increases my inflated ego that says I'm always right. I need to be humbled soon before I think I'm all powerful as well.

Talk Much?

I have a very annoying delemma; I am incapable in verbally conveying my true opinion about any certain topic no matter how hard I try. I just can't seem to make my words work! I always feel like any great idea I have immediately becomes very much ungreat as soon as I try to tell someone else about it. Why is this? How do I make others understand what I mean? I have no idea, so don't expect an answer. I almost feel like if I just never spoke again, I would be so much happier because then I would never notice the silly side of every thought I conceive and honestly thought was a super awesome idea. How come other people's words get me down so easily? I seem so sincere about whatever it is I'm thinking about before I share it, so why does one person's criticism of it cause me to rethink the entire thing right then and there. And most of the time, that results in me simply giving up the idea, never to ponder it again. That's seems very problematic to me, I shouldn't be so sensitive to the thoughts of others. I think it may have something to do with the inborn code of having to be right that I can't help but follow, due to the lack of the confidence level needed to break it. How do we even build up our confidence anyway? And I mean in a healthy way that won't end up in a later crash, like when people change their appearance to gain the approval of others. I don't want a quick fix for this problem, I want to genuinly have the strongness that comes when one finally isn't affected by the negative opinions around them. But how is this accomplished? I know from my Christian background that my answer should simply be "ask God to fix it," but for some reason that just doesn't cut it for me. I believe that he can fix it in others, but for some reason I doubt that he'll fix it in me. It sounds so stupid to me even as I write this, but nevertheless it's truly how I feel. I wish it were different, but I would be lying to say that it was. I want so badly to let go and just let God handle everything, but something holds me back and I can't pin point what it is. Again, "ask God" is the first thought that pops into my mind, but I feel like I don't even actually understand that anymore. Maybe I should just stop trying to figure everything out because it's not working or leading me anywhere. Maybe I could just start from the begining. Sigh, I could really use a mentor or something.

Courting is the Way to Go

After contemplating my last few dating relationships, I've come to the conclusion that the popular approach to them is not for me. None of them have made me feel genuinely good, through all of them I have felt smothered in some way. I always was trying to please the other, afraid to speak up and be myself, often neglecting my friends, forced to deal with constant prodding for some kind of physical attention (such as hand holding or a kiss), and being unable to think of anyone or anything else. It was not fun looking back, though I couldn't see that then. Do all relationships have to be like that? I hope not. I've heard of a few people who have had a contrastingly pleasant experience when it came to dating, only they called it courting. Courting is a bit like dating, except a whole lot different. There is a rather strict set of rules that goes along with it that various from couple to couple really. Some take it to the exreme, absolutely no touching of any kind and no alone time whatsoever. Others can be more lenient, maybe holding hands or hugging prior to marriage with maybe a few private moments while taking a walk through the park. I am not an extreme person, so neither of these options would quite fit my style, but a combination could suffice. Therefore, my idea of a perfect relationship is one which includes no touching except maybe the occasional, friendly hug (but that's it, I've learned that I'm Way to sentimental to even allow hand holding) and allowing for a few "alone" dates to public places. I wouldn't want to be alone in the car with the person, at least not at night, because that's the pretty much the opposite of a public place, and I would want to get to know the person for several months at the least, perferably a year or two, before getting engaged or married. It sounds kind of harsh perhaps, but I'm not willing to have another pointless relationship. There are more important things I need to focus on in this life, and I don't need a bunch of boys distracting me from those things. I believe that if I'm even supposed to get married, then I'll run into to one for me, so it seems like a waste of time and effort for me to go out looking and trying out all the ones available through dating. So, conclusion being, courting is what I choose, and I will not settle for anything other.

I just felt the need to share my resolution about this so that I can solidify my decision even more, so thanks to anyone who chose to read it. I hope I wasn't too much of a bore.