So I had orientation at Wright State yesterday, and I just have to say that I am so freakin' excited for college! Just walking through the Biological Science building with labs to be seen left and right made me giddy, and honestly my heart hurt by how much I wanted to learn in that building! Haha, it sounds so silly I know! I'm pretty sure I was the only person in my group that felt this way though. And then whenever the professors/students got to talking about how if we're lucky we could do research while still a freshman, I couldn't help but feel myself glow inside. That literally is one of the most exciting ideas for me; to perform research with my professors would be such an honor! That and studying abroad, what could be cooler? I just cannot wait to start this college journey, I know it's going to be epic! I wish I had had a parent or friend at orientation with me so that I could have shared some of the emotions I had during it, but I really can't complain. Which brings me to something else I want to discuss, about growing up in general.
Everything that's been happening to me lately, such as finishing high school, getting a job, and being more independant, has been causing me to mature rather quickly. Being at orientation by myself and finding that I'm not an awkward loner, meaning I still easily talked to others and really didn't feel left out, made me clearly realize that I'm not really a kid anymore. I wouldn't go as far to say that I feel like an adult right now, but I feel like that isn't far from coming. I can feel this shift in me happening right now, and it's a crazy, unimagined sensation. I honestly did not think that I would start "becoming an adult" until after I have had my own car and place to live for a while, but it seems that working, going to college, and having my own money will make this happen without the car and house (but hopefully I will have a car before long!). Haha, this is still so new to me that I don't know what to think about it yet, except that I'm so excited for the future! Great things are happening, that's all I know.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
The Curse of Potential
I think I am at a critical point in my life. At the risk of sounding clique, I kind of feel like an empty canvas. Well, maybe not entirely so, there is at least a background color for some future picture. The trouble is, what the heck do I want to draw? It has recently been brought back to my attention that I am not super talented at any one thing. Though I try to avoid being the same as anyone else, I almost would prefer a typical, impressive skill such as playing an instrument or drawing over what I do have. What is this you may ask? The ability to not suck at most things. Now I really don't want to sound like I'm bragging, because I really am not, but I have found that I am pretty well rounded in the kinds of things I can do. I have a decent singing voice, I can sew a bit, I can paint and draw a little, I can understand math, I am pretty good at computers and video games, I can run long distances, blah blah blah. Any one of those things could be something someone is amazing at, but I am not one of those people. I have the potential to be great at anything, I think, and all I'd have to do is choose one, or maybe two. But I cannot seem to make up my mind what I like best, I want to be great at them all! That may not be possible though and certainly not easy.
This dilemma extends into my career goals as well. When I was younger, I wanted to be a vet. I always thought the idea of being able to take care of my own animals, as well as those of my friends and family, and give shots legally was so cool, and I was set on doing that for many years. Being older though I have realized how much that kind of job would not make me happy. Being a vet for a normal institution is not about helping people or the animals really, it's about making money. Ever since we had to put to sleep my dog a few years ago, I have a distaste for these modern vet clinics. So I had come up with the idea to run my own shop where I would give good service for reasonable prices. I still like this idea and hope to make it happen, but recently I've thought that I really want to go out into various places in the world to study habitats and perform important research. This is currently what I'm set on, but even more recently I've been inspired to become more humanistic in my studies. I really love people, work has made me see this more, and I so badly want the ability to relate to many kinds of people. One thing this would require is a diverse knowledge of language. This means that so far I want to become an expert on veterinary, business, research, and linguistic skills. Haha, how can one person do so much? I would never get done with school! A normal person would pick one of those and be content, so why can't I? I could succeed in any of these, but I cannot see how I could have more than a basic understanding in all of them. Hmm, too bad I can't just be an elf from Lord of the Rings or Eragon that theoretically has eternity to learn whatever the heck they want. Oh well, I'm alive so I can't really complain. If I experience an epiphany on this topic I'm sure I'll blog about it. For now I'm just going to give it all some more thought. Yay for thinking!
This dilemma extends into my career goals as well. When I was younger, I wanted to be a vet. I always thought the idea of being able to take care of my own animals, as well as those of my friends and family, and give shots legally was so cool, and I was set on doing that for many years. Being older though I have realized how much that kind of job would not make me happy. Being a vet for a normal institution is not about helping people or the animals really, it's about making money. Ever since we had to put to sleep my dog a few years ago, I have a distaste for these modern vet clinics. So I had come up with the idea to run my own shop where I would give good service for reasonable prices. I still like this idea and hope to make it happen, but recently I've thought that I really want to go out into various places in the world to study habitats and perform important research. This is currently what I'm set on, but even more recently I've been inspired to become more humanistic in my studies. I really love people, work has made me see this more, and I so badly want the ability to relate to many kinds of people. One thing this would require is a diverse knowledge of language. This means that so far I want to become an expert on veterinary, business, research, and linguistic skills. Haha, how can one person do so much? I would never get done with school! A normal person would pick one of those and be content, so why can't I? I could succeed in any of these, but I cannot see how I could have more than a basic understanding in all of them. Hmm, too bad I can't just be an elf from Lord of the Rings or Eragon that theoretically has eternity to learn whatever the heck they want. Oh well, I'm alive so I can't really complain. If I experience an epiphany on this topic I'm sure I'll blog about it. For now I'm just going to give it all some more thought. Yay for thinking!
Friday, June 1, 2012
The Resolutions of a New Life
So, it's been a while since my last post. The last few months of high school and the IB program consumed all of my energy and I basically gave up everything except school, but now I intend to make up for lost time! I have come to realize a lot about myself recently and a lot has been happening to me lately, such as school being over, working my first job, and meeting new people. I have felt inspired to make things happen for a long time and so now I'm going to try to describe what I've been thinking into comprehensible words. So here we go, some resolutions for life!
I think the main thing I've realized during my experience with IB is that I want to travel so badly! I want to see the world and all the kinds of cultures that exist. I've already made up my mind to study abroad in Australia sometime during my undergraduate education, working in the rainforest there perhaps? Haha, I have much excitement for this. Random fact, did you know that Australia contains every climate? Except maybe arctic, I can't remember, but the idea is still so cool! And just for fun, did you know that the longest road in Australia is over 5,000 miles? That's like driving from New York to Hawaii, if that were possible. Crazy stuff exists in Australia! Anyway, I've also decided recently that I want to learn to speak and write Arabic and then eventually go and visit the culture, in Africa maybe? That's where one of my good friends is from, Northern Africa, and I can't help but get really enthused whenever I consider myself going there. I take that as a sign that I should go someday. And hearing about other people going to places such as Germany and France makes me want to go too. I definitely have to visit Rome, my Latin teacher instilled a love for the whole country and its history/culture. Oh goodness, the world is crazy!
Somewhat related to my desire to travel, I also feel driven to start becoming a hiking and camping fanatic. I've always loved hearing the experiences of others who have taken on crazy hiking adventures and I would love to have my own stories to share. As of yet, I have never been camping anywhere other than populated camping grounds, which is still fun but I really want to rough it out and see how I manage. I don't think I'll try to do what Bear Grylls does or anything, I don't want to Die, but it would be cool to have to make a shelter and to start a fire without a lighter. Haha, I'll probably need to learn how to do all those things first though!
And now there's a more vague idea I've been contemplating. Because of how many people I see at work, I've been given a renewed desire to become more involved in other people's lives. I've reread some of my blog posts and journal entries recently and I can see that this is something I've wanted for a long time, but I haven't really felt capable until now. I don't know what's different in me that makes this seem possible, but now I'm not so afraid to put myself out there and try new things/meet new people. I'm not afraid to feel awkward like I used to be, which makes everything a lot easier. I don't know, this is a new feeling so I don't really know how to explain it. But yeah, things are happening and I'm so excited to experience them!
I guess that's all for now, I'll hopefully be blogging again soon!
I think the main thing I've realized during my experience with IB is that I want to travel so badly! I want to see the world and all the kinds of cultures that exist. I've already made up my mind to study abroad in Australia sometime during my undergraduate education, working in the rainforest there perhaps? Haha, I have much excitement for this. Random fact, did you know that Australia contains every climate? Except maybe arctic, I can't remember, but the idea is still so cool! And just for fun, did you know that the longest road in Australia is over 5,000 miles? That's like driving from New York to Hawaii, if that were possible. Crazy stuff exists in Australia! Anyway, I've also decided recently that I want to learn to speak and write Arabic and then eventually go and visit the culture, in Africa maybe? That's where one of my good friends is from, Northern Africa, and I can't help but get really enthused whenever I consider myself going there. I take that as a sign that I should go someday. And hearing about other people going to places such as Germany and France makes me want to go too. I definitely have to visit Rome, my Latin teacher instilled a love for the whole country and its history/culture. Oh goodness, the world is crazy!
Somewhat related to my desire to travel, I also feel driven to start becoming a hiking and camping fanatic. I've always loved hearing the experiences of others who have taken on crazy hiking adventures and I would love to have my own stories to share. As of yet, I have never been camping anywhere other than populated camping grounds, which is still fun but I really want to rough it out and see how I manage. I don't think I'll try to do what Bear Grylls does or anything, I don't want to Die, but it would be cool to have to make a shelter and to start a fire without a lighter. Haha, I'll probably need to learn how to do all those things first though!
And now there's a more vague idea I've been contemplating. Because of how many people I see at work, I've been given a renewed desire to become more involved in other people's lives. I've reread some of my blog posts and journal entries recently and I can see that this is something I've wanted for a long time, but I haven't really felt capable until now. I don't know what's different in me that makes this seem possible, but now I'm not so afraid to put myself out there and try new things/meet new people. I'm not afraid to feel awkward like I used to be, which makes everything a lot easier. I don't know, this is a new feeling so I don't really know how to explain it. But yeah, things are happening and I'm so excited to experience them!
I guess that's all for now, I'll hopefully be blogging again soon!
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