The Curse of Potential

     I think I am at a critical point in my life. At the risk of sounding clique, I kind of feel like an empty canvas. Well, maybe not entirely so, there is at least a background color for some future picture. The trouble is, what the heck do I want to draw? It has recently been brought back to my attention that I am not super talented at any one thing. Though I try to avoid being the same as anyone else, I almost would prefer a typical, impressive skill such as playing an instrument or drawing over what I do have. What is this you may ask? The ability to not suck at most things. Now I really don't want to sound like I'm bragging, because I really am not, but I have found that I am pretty well rounded in the kinds of things I can do. I have a decent singing voice, I can sew a bit, I can paint and draw a little, I can understand math, I am pretty good at computers and video games, I can run long distances, blah blah blah. Any one of those things could be something someone is amazing at, but I am not one of those people. I have the potential to be great at anything, I think, and all I'd have to do is choose one, or maybe two. But I cannot seem to make up my mind what I like best, I want to be great at them all! That may not be possible though and certainly not easy.
     This dilemma extends into my career goals as well. When I was younger, I wanted to be a vet. I always thought the idea of being able to take care of my own animals, as well as those of my friends and family, and give shots legally was so cool, and I was set on doing that for many years. Being older though I have realized how much that kind of job would not make me happy. Being a vet for a normal institution is not about helping people or the animals really, it's about making money. Ever since we had to put to sleep my dog a few years ago, I have a distaste for these modern vet clinics. So I had come up with the idea to run my own shop where I would give good service for reasonable prices. I still like this idea and hope to make it happen, but recently I've thought that I really want to go out into various places in the world to study habitats and perform important research. This is currently what I'm set on, but even more recently I've been inspired to become more humanistic in my studies. I really love people, work has made me see this more, and I so badly want the ability to relate to many kinds of people. One thing this would require is a diverse knowledge of language. This means that so far I want to become an expert on veterinary, business, research, and linguistic skills. Haha, how can one person do so much? I would never get done with school! A normal person would pick one of those and be content, so why can't I? I could succeed in any of these, but I cannot see how I could have more than a basic understanding in all of them. Hmm, too bad I can't just be an elf from Lord of the Rings or Eragon that theoretically has eternity to learn whatever the heck they want. Oh well, I'm alive so I can't really complain. If I experience an epiphany on this topic I'm sure I'll blog about it. For now I'm just going to give it all some more thought. Yay for thinking!